Over and Over Again

I am thankful that Child Grief Awareness Month is during the month of November because to be honest, I really dread the month of November.  For the last eight years, I have spent each November 1st through Thanksgiving reliving some of the hardest days of my entire life with its climax being on November 14th.  To me, this is the worst day of the year.  Although I try to keep myself occupied, the day always comes and I always feel awful.  I experience these days year after year, over and over again.

Last week, we discussed some basic facts about childhood grief.  If you missed it, check out last week’s post.  Today, we’re going to focus on the fact that children will experience the loss throughout their lifetime.  When I explain this concept to people, adults will say things like, “But kids are resilient, they’ll be fine.” Or “How will they remember the person who died, they were so young.” I am here to tell you that children will always feel the loss.  They may experience this in different ways and depending on their relationship with their loved one.  In cases like these, children will always feel and remember that their loved one is not there on days they wish they were.  They may forget how their loved one talked, what they smelled like, but they will always have days that they wish they could look at their mom, dad, grandparent, aunt, uncle and say “Wow, I’m so glad you’re here for this moment.”

Children will turn into teenagers that graduate from high school, who go to college or start work, graduate from college, get married, and have children.  Don’t you think that these children who grow up to be adults will miss having their dad walk them down the aisle, or hugging their grandparents at graduation, or wish their mom was there to help them figure out how to take care of a tiny human?  Of course they will.  A loss in childhood is going to be something that they carry with them throughout their entire life.  I hope that throughout this month of the year, you are able to take some time to learn more about childhood grief and I recommend checking out childrengrieve.org to learn more.

Don’t forget to wear blue this week and take a picture with Hope the Butterfly to raise awareness about Childhood Grief on Thursday!  To learn more about Children’s Grief Awareness Day check out https://www.childrensgriefawarenessday.org.


Published by Bryna Talamantez

LMFT specializing in grief counseling for children, teens, adults and families.

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